Your lover leaves, you were laid off from work, passed over for a promotion, or maybe the bid you put down on a house wasn’t accepted. Your first reaction is to vent your hurt and anger outward. You call your friends and tell them how unfairly you’ve been treated, what jerks they all are, shedding tears over a shared bottle of wine or a carton of ice cream.

Then something else happens…you begin to internalize the incident.You think, “I must not be good enough, smart enough, or sexy enough. Maybe I’m too old, too fat, too this or too that.” You speak to yourself words that feed the feelings of unworthiness.

Thoughts and feelings of unworthiness are very common. We live in a culture where worthiness is defined by what you look like, your education, how much money you have, and a myriad of things that exist outside of you.  For most of us, it’s impossible to live up to these images of success, mostly because they are so far out of alignment with reality.

The truth however, is that you are worthy already, and that your enjoyment of the things of life is an extension of your worthiness.

When you are feeling good, you make good choices, and those choices tend to create positive outcomes. Sometimes there’s a glitch in the system, but that’s usually because there is something you need to learn, do, or discover.

When you are swimming in thoughts and feelings of unworthiness, you WILL ATTRACT to you situations that will make you feel unworthy.  It’s a cycle.

But how do you move from thoughts and feelings of unworthiness to ones that are worthy?

Here’s my secret formula:

1.  Recognize and allow the thoughts and feelings of unworthiness to come up. You may feel them in your stomach, your chest, or even your throat.

2. Then breathe deeply and be gentle with yourself. Those thoughts and feelings create tension in the body, so do your best to relax the muscles around where the feelings are, and continue to breathe.

3. Finally, ask yourself this question, “Have thoughts and feelings of unworthiness ever helped me to make good choices?” Take a moment, and scan your memory. At some point your unconscious mind will see that unworthiness is a state of mind that isn’t working for you, and you will release it.

You are a powerful creator being. When you shine the light of your awareness on these negative thoughts and feelings they will dissipate.

I believe in you.

Photo Credit: Luke Ellis-Craven