Is it possible to not to feel joy when others praise you?
Praise and criticism are two sides of the judgment coin. To let go of one, means you’ll have to get rid of the other.
I have a confession to make, I enjoy making others happy.
It feels good when my picky children say, “dinner was good mom,” and it feels bad when a project I’d spent hours on is rejected or criticized at a board meeting.
There was a time when my desire to please others kept me from saying what was really in my heart and mind. I would withhold the “truth” because I didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, but really I was fearful of their reaction, fearful that I would be rejected.
My desire to please others became a trap.
My desire to please others started to change when my children became school age. I realized that no one would advocate better for my children than me, and so their needs became greater than my insecurities. I have had to confront other parents, teachers, coaches, and administrators on their behalf.
My meditation practice has been invaluable to me in dealing with judgments and confrontation.
Meditation has not only helped me to stay calm and centered, it has taught me to recognize the “me” beyond my fears, doubts, and emotions. That is, the practice of sitting, breathing, and being while letting my thoughts and feelings go, has carried over into all other aspects of my life!
Freedom from the judgment of others isn’t about not feeling happy or hurt, it’s about knowing who you are beyond the noisiness of your doubtful thoughts and your elated or hurt feelings. Freedom from judgement is about following your truth.
Photo Credit: Julien Lavallée