What to do when the person you love is also your biggest critic
Don’t take it personally!
I have no doubt that my mother loved, no adored me, but she was also highly critical. No matter what I said or what I wanted to do, she would come up with all the reasons why it was a bad idea.
This has gone on since childhood, and as a result I developed a bad habit of second guessing myself and doubting my desires, intuitive guidance, and inspirations.
How to turn self-doubt into self-trust
Because I love my mother, I decided that her need to criticize wasn’t about me, it was about her need to control everything and everyone in her life. In other words, it wasn’t my problem, it was hers, so I could let it go and instead focus on the all the wonderful things I loved about my mother.
On a practical level I also started to ignore any unasked-for advice from her or anyone else. For example, when I decided to divorce my husband my mother said, “Krista, if you leave him your life will be infinitely harder.” Then she told me all the reasons why that was true. My response, “Mom, if I thought that way, I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning.” Ignore, ignore, ignore!
Because I love myself, I decided that I needed to move forward despite my feelings of doubt, otherwise how could I untangle myself from the web of erroneous thinking and create the life I truly wanted?
My mother is gone now, but you may be living with someone who is a negative nelly, always casting doubt on your dreams, raining on your parade, telling you to be a realist, and giving you unwanted and negative advice.
Here are 3 things you can do right now:
- You know my go-to is the bubble of light…but with a twist. Surround yourself with a bubble of golden light, imagine an angel on either side of you, one behind you and one ahead of you. Say, “Keep me and the people around me from harm. Thank you.” This seriously works! Even today, not everyone in my life is on the “happy train,” so to keep moving forward I do this for myself. PROTECT YOUR DREAMS, VISIONS, AND INSPIRATIONS!
- Stay in your bubble, don’t argue with them, or try and fix them because they don’t see life the way you do. Your best defense against an onslaught of negativity is to prove them wrong! Live in your light. They will figure it out… or not, but again don’t let their negative outlook be the excuse why you don’t follow your dreams.
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes! My mother was the queen of, “I told you so.” Whenever I heard her say this, I felt defeated and it greatly undermined my confidence in myself.However, I was able to completely turn that around when I adopted this phrase, and you should too, “There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback.”Mistakes is how you learn! What you do isn’t always going to make sense to the people around you, and you will make mistakes. It’s okay, it’s part of the process of discovery.
Stay true to your path, even when you’re unsure. God loves you and is helping to guide you to the highest and best outcome, always!
Sending you love,
Krista
Photo by Jad Limcaco on Unsplash